Monday, April 11, 2011

Random Shoplifts, the Nth

Overheard in various places in the last week or so...

~Gravity is not gonna be generous to your short crooked ass. (One woman berates another for wearing her backpack wrong. Just...weird.)

~I know some things about him that I will never tell, but I think he should leave women along and stick with something plastic. (Uh, note to self, try and figure out who this guy is and NEVER date him)

~If you're not touching the top of it, what's the point? (I have no clue what the topic was, but other than lifting it, I'm not touching anything. Certainly not the top of it.)

~Rose pedal, with floral aroma and spice flavors. (I'm neither wearing nor drinking this, whatever it was).

~When you get three without getting anywhere near a bar, it's a good day (no context. I like this one as it is. If you're curious, email me.)

Happy eavesdropping!

The Final Snippet: redundant

Deb Answers: Margaret in Tacoma: It is not in fact the spirit of your favorite orchid that was in the perfume, but an entirely different, yet similar orchid. Your orchid's soul twin, if you will.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Stranger Than Fiction, Man

I just had this conversation. It is worthy of a shoplift, but too long for my normal pithy phrase grab. So I will relate it in its entirely. I can only imagine were I to incorporate this into a book, some editor would say it is entirely unrealistic and could never ever ever take place in reality and therefore is entirely unbelievable for fiction.

"Hi, can we we chat for a few minutes about the firewall rules I need to document? There are a number of line items designated as servers which don't seem to exist in any list I have and I don't know who I should assign them to for documenting," said Deb

"They're not really servers. You can call them servers for the purposes of this discussion but they aren't really. They are for security stuff," said IT Security Guy.

"Oh," said Deb, now a little confused. "So, YOU are the owner for purposes of documentation?"

"Yes, you could say that," replied IT Security Guy.

" pulled the list of rules together for me..." said Deb.

"Yes," said IT Security Guy.

"And you sent the list to me so I can make sure I get the proper documentation?" asked Deb.

"Yeah," said IT Security Guy.

"And you sent an email to your boss saying you can't complete your tasks on this phase of the project until I provide said documentation?" asked Deb, her voice rising a bit in tone.

"Right," replied IT Security Guy.

"And the documentation I need, as it turns out, has to come from you?" asked Deb, now clearly disturbed.

"Uh, yes," responded IT Security Guy slowly.

"So, uh, why didn't you just fill that part in when you sent me the original file? Or, you know, let me know you were ultimately responsible for doing it so I didn't spend 4 days asking you for help. Or, you know, when I started asking you about the servers in question so I could identify who was responsible for the documentation, you might have said it was you..."

"I wasn't tasked with that," said IT Security Guy.

"You weren't tasked with that?" Deb parroted.


A long silence ensued during which Deb's face turned several apoplectic shades of puce which are clearly not in a normal face-color spectrum.

"So, you should send it all to my boss and ask him to task me with that, so I can get it added to my task list."

"Because you won't do it until you are tasked by him, but you WILL send him emails complaining that it isn't done...."

"Well, yeah. It's holding me up."

"Uh, sure. I'll do that," said Deb, showing all the restraint she could possibly muster. She turned and walked away muttering under her breath something that sounded suspiciously close to 'beat you to death with my stiletto' but which could not possibly be what she actually said, because that would be wrong.


The Final Snippet: I am not inconsistent. I just have an expanded repertoire of emotions.

Deb Answers: Lissa in Stoughton MA: Pick a mood, woman, and stick with it. Seriously.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Writing That Next Word

I spent the weekend writing.

Damn, it feels good to say that. Ok -- that's not all I did....I managed some laundry and cooked a rack of ribs for some delightful men. But mostly I wrote. Then revised. Then wrote some more.

I wrote on Friday about being excited for a mini-retreat -- I'd managed to set aside Friday night and all day Saturday to go to a pal's place with a number of other writers and really focus on getting some heavy lifting done word-wise. And I got some heavy lifting done -- Chapter 1 of WIP needed a revision. I'd been putting it off even though I knew what I needed to do. And Friday night I talked my way through it; Saturday I did it, then workshopped it with some amazing writers (who were kind enough to provide me with instant, then made another pass to add some layers of refinement.

Funny thing -- all that work lopped over into Sunday, when I made yet another pass and added some addition refinements. Probably still needs some fine-tuning, but I have that planned for tomorrow night.

My lesson at the moment is that scheduling time to write, and having some accountability about it (and not just to myself) is helping to keep me motivated and moving forward.

And writing that next word.

And when it comes down to it that's really all we can do -- write that next word.

Are you writing your next word?

The Final Snippet: Now we have a use for that Kama Sutra Chocolate.....

Deb Answers: Beth in South Florida: Step away from the beer. Really.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Mini-Retreat - Yay!

In preparation for pitching at Pikes Peak Writers Conference at the end of this month, I am fortunate enough to be participating in a mini-retreat tonight and all day tomorrow.

I have realized that since I work a day job, I kind of view my time at home in the evenings or on the weekends as relaxation time, and sometimes have a difficult time making myself write. I kind of resent it in a way.

But, if I remove myself from my home environment, then I seem to be in a more disciplined head space, and have a much easier time being productive. Weird psychological trick, that, but if it works, I'm willing to do it. So I'll be at mini-retreats and the local coffee shop a lot this month.

How do you prep as you are coming down the final stretch with a project? I know a bunch of people who can write any time, any place, and sometimes I wish I were one of them. But I guess we all have an innate process -- one of my goals for the rest of this year is retraining my brain to a new process :)

Meanwhile I will spend tonight and tomorrow doing all the writing I ought to have been doing after work this week.

Wish me good words.....

The Final Snippet: You know it was a great party when someone is missing a fang.

Deb Answers: Vanessa in OK: I would use the scarf before the twine.